The Illusion of Control: How Letting Go Can Set You Free

In a breakthrough coaching session I did recently with a client, we spent a lot of time talking about control. 

How in reality control is an illusion, and there is very little in life we can control, yet it's something a lot of us cling to.  In business, friendships, relationships - it shows up all the time.

At the core of our desire for control lies fear - fear of the unknown, fear of failure, and fear of not being enough. We convince ourselves that if we can just control every aspect of our lives, we can avoid the discomfort and pain that comes with uncertainty. However, this illusion of control is just that - an illusion.

The truth is, life is inherently unpredictable. No matter how much we plan or how tightly we hold on, there will always be variables beyond our control. When we become fixated on controlling every detail, we not only create unnecessary stress for ourselves but also rob ourselves of the opportunity to grow and adapt.

So, how can we work with these feelings of fear and the need for control?

The first step is awareness. Recognise when you're falling into patterns of over-control and ask yourself, "What am I afraid of?" By bringing our fears into the light, we can begin to challenge them and reframe our perspective.

Next, practice surrendering. Start small by letting go of the need to control minor details, like the exact order of your daily tasks or the way your partner loads the dishwasher. As you become more comfortable with letting go, you can gradually tackle bigger areas of your life.

Cultivate trust - trust in yourself, trust in others, and trust in the journey of life. Remind yourself that you have the resilience and resourcefulness to handle whatever challenges come your way. Remind yourself that you have survived 100% of your hardest days.

Finally, bring yourself back to the present moment. Look around you - are you safe right now?

Remember, letting go of control doesn't mean giving up or resigning yourself to a life of chaos. It means having the courage to face your fears, the flexibility to adapt to change, and the faith to trust.

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I work closely with only a few clients at a time because transformation requires commitment, attention and care.

If you feel pulled to work with me, it's not a coincidence. Listen to that inner voice and take the first step. 

Availability is limited so contact me today to discuss if 1:1 coaching might be a good fit for you.