I see you, fellow business owners. I see you because I was you.

Building my consultancy was like riding a roller coaster – exhilarating and terrifying all at once. Growing the team, landing bigger clients, living what seemed like the entrepreneurial dream. But beneath the surface, something was crumbling.

The weight of responsibility became crushing.

"I just need you in that meeting with me."

Three weeks ago, Sarah* reached out about what seemed like a straightforward HR issue – ongoing performance challenges in her team. But as we sat down together, it became clear there was so much more beneath the surface.

In my 15+ years supporting business owners, one truth stands out. When your people are your biggest headache, your business becomes a burden rather than a joy.

Here's what I know …

My client, an experienced entrepreneur leading a team of 15, was struggling with the people management side of her business. In her own words, she found it:

- Stressful
- Overwhelming
- Like constantly watching over her shoulder for something to go wrong

You know exactly what I'm talking about - that employee who consistently underperforms, the one you've been meaning to address for weeks, months, maybe even years. Yet, here you are, once again picking up their slack, feeling the weight of unresolved issues on your shoulders.

Fear-based leadership is never a good strategy. It creates a toxic environment where:

- Innovation is stifled
- Open communication breaks down
- Employee well-being suffers
- Turnover increases
- Productivity declines

One of the things I see all the time that totally hinders performance in recruitment businesses is a lack of clarity around expectations.

This is often coming from a really good place. Business owners not wanting to recreate the restrictive KPI, fear driven cultures of recruitment past. Not wanting to bog down the business in rules, policies and complex contracts. I totally get it.

However, an all or nothing approach is really damaging your business and your culture.

Low confidence can hold you back from reaching your full potential. (I get 99.9% of my leads from LinkedIn these days)It's like driving with the handbrake on - you can still move, but you're not going anywhere fast.This is something I work with my clients on all the time.

We work on reframing negative self-talk, building self-awareness, and developing strategies to boost your confidence in a genuine, lasting way.

It's deeply rewarding to witness my clients' evolution, seeing them step into their full potential both as individuals and as leaders. This work reminds me why I'm passionate about coaching.

Have you ever felt like an imposter in your professional life? How did you overcome it? I'd love to hear your experiences and insights.

Shifting our perspective is one of the most powerful tools we have. Instead of waiting for others to change or for situations to improve on their own, we can choose to be the catalyst for the change we want to see.

Clear is kind.

The first step to creating high performing teams that are happy and accountable is clarity. Clarity over what is expected and the ability to listen what is really going on.

If this is something you struggle with you aren’t alone. There is a solution.

In my many years of working with people, making teams tick is something that I’ve always been passionate about.

Sure, we all know sales figures are important, but there's so much more to the story, isn't there?

Ready to make your team really tick and find the magic?

As a holistic HR and business consultant, I've seen how integrating strategic planning, cultural development, and human-focused practices can transform small businesses.

When you align your growth strategy with your values and prioritise both financial success, personal development and employee wellbeing, amazing things happen.

What's your biggest challenge in scaling your small business?

As we peeled back the layers, we uncovered that there was a real lack of clarity. Lack of clarity about what he wanted from the business, where it was headed, what he needed from his team etc etc. Every day he felt that he was totally out of control - running from one panic situation to the next and never getting on top of the things that he knew would move the business forward. The team were confused, lacked motivation and were not performing.

I help small business owners (those with up to about 20 staff) grow their companies sustainably and intentionally. It's about scaling while keeping your people at the heart of everything you do.

My approach? It's a carefully balanced blend of business strategy, HR and people expertise, and personal development. Think of me as your dedicated business consultant with a keen focus on the human element.

The People Consultancy, Emily Perry

Karpman’s Drama Triangle - Changing The Narrative

Bringing together the different elements of the drama triangle and how we can change the narrative and create a different outcome.

Remember - this is always about our own self awareness, and not about how we control or manipulate others.

Karpman’s Drama Triangle - Part Three, The Persecutor

And finally the persecutor. In the drama triangle the persecutor is the one that is often feared by the victim and pacified by the rescuers.

The persecutor is the one that will attack and keep going until they get what they want - they keep the victim oppressed and will criticise the rescuer.

Without judgement this behaviour is likely coming from a place for fear and is a stress response - the fight response.

Karpman’s Drama Triangle - Part Two, The Victim

The victim is often looking for persecution or to be rescued and struggles to ask for what they need. Behaviour can often be seen as passive aggressive or ‘this always happens to me’

Karpman’s Drama Triangle - Part One, The Rescuer

First up I want to look at the Rescuer - not just because its something I resonate with (!) but its something I see business owners do all the time. Rescuing underperforming employees rather than upsetting them with a honest conversation.Feeling stressed, overwhelmed and under pressure as you want to 'save others' from feeling uncomfortable.

Taking the blame for mistakes that weren't yours as you don't want to upset others.Taking more and more on as you feel guilty for burdening others.

A brief introduction to Karpman’s Drama Triangle

People often want to control how others behave, yet this is impossible and highly stressful and damaging. A model I use all the time is something called the drama triangle. It’s shows the different roles we default to in situations with others.