5 Myths about boundaries

I'm pretty confident that one of the biggest contributing factors to the burnout I experienced was my inability to put in place boundaries. I see it with clients all the time too - overextending themselves, disregarding their own needs and going out of their way to accommodate others - but at what cost?

There is often a lot of resistance around boundaries, with some of us finding it so hard to create healthy boundaries. We are scared of being unkind, scared people will abandon us or that we will never get another client again if we say no to that one we know is going to be a royal pain in the backside (yes that was 100% me).

• MYTH #1 BOUNDARIES ARE ABOUT CONTROLLING OTHER PEOPLE AND GETTING THEM TO CHANGE

  • A boundary is intended to keep you safe emotionally and physically and should never ve about controlling or manipulating another person. A boundary defines your limits and choices, not another person’s.

• MYTH #2 - BOUNDARIES ARE SELFISH

  • Some people may feel guilty or believe they are being self centered by prioritising their needs and limits. In reality, boundaries are essential for maintaining emotional and mental well-being, and they promote healthier and more balanced relationships.

• MYTH #3 - SETTING BOUNDARIES MEANS PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY

  • Some individuals fear that establishing boundaries will cause them to lose friends or isolate themselves from others. While it's true that some relationships may change, setting boundaries helps clarify expectations and fosters more authentic connections with those who respect and appreciate your boundaries.

• MYTH #4 - BOUNDARIES ARE ONLY NECESSARY FOR DIFFICULT PEOPLE

  • Some people believe that they only need to set boundaries with challenging or toxic individuals. However, boundaries are essential for all relationships, regardless of how healthy or positive they may be. Clear boundaries help prevent misunderstandings and promote open communication with everyone in your life.

• MYTH #5 - SETTING BOUNDARIES IS A ONE-TIME THING

  • Some individuals think that once they set boundaries, their work is done. On the contrary, boundary-setting is an ongoing process. As circumstances change and relationships evolve, you may need to reassess and adjust your boundaries to ensure they remain effective and relevant.

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    If this resonates with you, please get in touch to talk through how we can work together in 1:1 coaching.